Extraaa Nonsense : Where Cricket Weds Crap

Extraaa Innings is back on air ! This seems to be the nth time I am making this statement, but all thanks to Sony Entertainment Televisions's ridiculous policy, it wont stop until the 2007 World Cup is over - thats an assurance ! The only difference this time is that the crap has got crappier and Mandira and Charu have become too inane to switch on the TV sets. Its time cricket gets rid of these elements who seek gracious time to punch their visibility and seek roles. I mean, let cricketers analyse the game not some airhead chicks who did not know what cricket was unless they were offered a ransom by the television channel. Oh, and what on earth is someone like Rohit Roy doing there ? I tend to think he's an absolute disaster at whatever he does (refer Nach Baliye last year) and his constant concern at Dada's exclusion from the team just adds a bit of murkiness about the whole guy.

Now lets get to the show. There is this audacious tarot card reader, who always seems to get it wrong. This was the same lady who predicted India's win in the World Cup of 2003, and the rest is recorded history. Alright, they have the astrologer there, but what dominates the conversations is questions like "Will Mandira have a good Bollywood future ?" ! Holy heavens, are we watching a cricket preview show or weird attempt at trivializing the game ? Absolute rubbish ! Oh and the Maruti ride with Mandira and Charu, seems quite misplaced. Such visuals at best are condemnable, one feels ! How can the Indian audience, the so-called intellectual audience which knows to measure trash and sense accept such a comical approach to cricket ? Shocking!

What is even more unnerving is the India element. I mean, the high emotional ground these anchors gain when they chant the word "I-n-d-i-a", which to a large extent, pisses me off ! It gets too emotionally wound up, that a semblance of objectivity is almost cancelled at the first go, which is absolutely unfortunate. Compare this with a Channel 9 or an ESPN-Star Presentation and you'd probably know how inanely designed show this is. No doubt there is some element of patriotism in these shows, but where Extraaa Innings distinguishes itself is through the use of absolutely unrequired "in-studio jingoism". That brings me into questioning the use of female anchors for cricket. Sexist, as it may sound to readers, I do not feel the need for oomph in cricket and especially when these so-called anchors read through a whole chunk of Cricinfo updates all through the night and come up with questions that sound rather stupid. Oh, no doubt it is one more shot at bagging a Bollywood role for all you and I care (and it sounds better than casting couches too). Mandira's use as an ad-doll also seems rather stupid. All she does is lend her squeaky voice to some of the ads that sponsor segments. I bet, she might have come up with 50 "brought to you bys" in one episode. Her cleavage or whatever she seems to wear attracts more attention than what she tends to talk - such is the low sinking nature of cricket presentation these days. I am sure the Harshas and the Wilkins' must be tearing their hairs apart (if any).

Charu Sharma, who started off as a promising presenter has also a huge part of the blame to share. He was perhaps seen earlier as a man who could restore some sense into the proceedings, but as it has progressed from time to time, Charu has fallen into the trap of bringing in these emotional rants about India and more or less wraps his thoughts with a degree of plasticity. Even in his show the Fourth Umpire, he morphed his thoughts with some elements of extreme patriotism, which exposed his credibility to analyse matches as an expert. Its getting to a stage where, the viewer can almost predict the script given to him, which makes it dull ! Beating around the bush is his forte, he talks too much about things that are absolutely inconsequential to the match and he whatever he talks makes sense only to him ! I mean who gives a f*** if he spent his childhood days in Rajasthan or Sikkim, as it does not justify a good cricket match. He's just nailed himself on the presenter front. As someone who was seen as a decent competition to Harsha, Charu has just taken five steps back ! If he has to get any closer to Harsha, he better get out of shows like Extraaa Innings and the Fourth Umpire. The only time I found him to make sense was during the couple of tennis tournaments he did for Star Sports and Ten Sports respectively. Though, that jingoistic element didnt get off him, especially when he made repeated remarks about Sania Mirza, he sounded effective if not pleasing.

Its time cricket presenting takes a serious step forward. We do not need ladies who just make appearances to attract the cricket-watching male or twist their libidos during a cricket match. All we need is a host of good analysts, who take the viewer beyond the happenings of the game and put in real perspective in whatever they are talking. Bias is as inevitable as Mandira showing off her cleavage, but if these hosts can keep the bias away in their homes, it will make cricket watching a good experience. We need to learn from other countries with this regard too. Cricket presentation is serious stuff. Cricket itself is entertainment, but more importantly its a sport. If we are equating cricket to entertainment in the real sense, we are wrong. Cricket is more unpredictable than what could happen in a prime time daily soap. It can never wed entertainment. But, as Extraaa Innings has proved over the few years its been on air, cricket is made to wed crap and crap of the highest order !

Statutory Warning : Please switch off your television sets from 12:30 pm to 2:30 pm to avoid this show. Ignorance of this warning could lead to a mental disorder that would take years to get out of !